Women often aren’t assertive in the workplace, especially when compared to men. Many women are hesitant to speak up and don’t call attention to themselves or their accomplishments nearly enough, and when they do speak up, they tend to apologize or minimize the importance of what they say. QualityHow shares some tips on how women can be more assertive at work.
Change Your Attitude
Women must learn how to be more assertive and stop apologizing if they wish to advance their careers. To be taken seriously, stop starting sentences with “I think.”
Instead, say, “From my experience, this is what I have seen.” When you say “I think,” you may think you sound more polite, but politeness won’t always get you far in the business world. Furthermore, it downplays your expertise and the importance of your opinion.
It starts with how you present yourself. If you want others to see you as worthy of a promotion or as knowledgeable in your field, you have to believe in yourself and your self-worth. Instead of worrying about being well-liked, focus on being well-respected.
“It’s natural to want to be liked, but you need to pay more attention to the importance of your contribution,” suggests Diversity Woman. If you worry about whether people will like you, it will hold you back from speaking up.
Women tend to seek input and agreement from their peers. They’re comfortable with giving and taking suggestions, and often seek it out. However, when you ask, “Do you think we should do this?” men may misinterpret the meaning.
While other women will understand that you’re asking for input and taking suggestions, men may view you as being indecisive and lacking confidence. Make sure you state your goals and make it clear that you have the final say.
Be Prepared
Always be prepared for meetings, presentations, and negotiations. If you feel hesitant about speaking up in a meeting, prepare a list of “buzzwords” that signal you to contribute. Before going into a meeting or negotiation, write down what you want to achieve.
Visualize what their responses might be so you can respond appropriately. For meetings, arrive early and choose a seat in the middle or toward the front. Practice makes perfect, so role-play with a friend or coworker.
An important aspect of being prepared is looking for ways to improve yourself and your career prospects. Many choose to build on their skills through online learning. With online programs that allow you to keep working full-time as you learn, you can enhance your resume while developing expertise, whether you’re interested in information technology, business, or marketing.
Use Your Words
Men and women communicate differently. Sometimes we may say the right thing, but not in an assertive way. While men are typically more direct, women tend to soften statements. For example, a man might say, “You didn’t hand in that analysis.” But a woman would ask, “Why didn’t you hand in that analysis?”
Also, when conversing, men often give information while women share it. Men may recite the information to enhance their own credentials, while women often feel like they’re helping others to gain the same level of knowledge. This is referred to as “report talk” vs. “rapport talk.”
If you want to build relationships and cultivate understanding, continue to engage in “rapport talk” by letting others share the floor. But if you want to demonstrate your expertise, engage in “report talk.” It increases your credibility. If someone interrupts you, make it known that you haven’t finished what you were saying. Likewise, if your ideas are being dismissed, say, “I hear your point, but I want to add something to that.”
Unexpected Benefits
While many factors contribute to a person’s risk for addiction and substance abuse, research has shown that stress from work environments can play a major role. There is a strong correlation between mental health issues and substance abuse.
Workers with an anxiety disorder are twice as likely to abuse substances when compared to non-anxious workers. So being more confident and assertive at work to get what you want and need can help you feel less anxious and stressed, decreasing the chances that you will develop work-related mental health issues and/or substance abuse.
Of course, being assertive also helps you to grow in your career, and it’s crucial to your career’s success.
